Ask Annie

Q: My Babygirl just turned 17, she wants more independence, but I’m worried about safety with her friends, school and choices — how should I handle it? 

Signed, 

Scared Mommy 

A: Babyyyy, welcome to the teenage years — where they swear they’re grown, but still can’t keep their room or their ass clean. Let me be real: independence is coming whether you like it or not. The question is, do you give it in doses, or do you let TikTok, bad influences, and the streets raise your baby? You’re mom! You have been raising her for 17 years, she will make mistakes, but your voice will ring in her ears when she needs it the most.  

Yeah, she wants freedom, but you need peace. You can’t be worrying about no grown adult. You gotta loosen that leash slowly. Start small — let her go to the movies with friends but make sure you know who those friends are (and yes, check their parents too). Watch out for something called a two-man. They say it’s a double date, but these kids is slinging cat and stick like they ain’t scared of the Lord and HIV. Curfew? Non-negotiable. Location share? Absolutely. And don’t let anybody guilt you for keeping tabs on your baby.  

The big thing with girls is that they don’t know their worth and the world likes it that way. There’s more booty-shaking, hookup culture, and OnlyFans energy on TV and phones than ever before. What we used to sneak around to see on BET’s “Uncut” at midnight, they can see on their lunch break at school. If you’re not talking to your kid about sex, relationships, and respect — somebody else is, and trust me, it won’t be with love. 

So be upfront. Tell her keep her private business a mystery… unprotected sex brings pregnancies, diseases, and heartbreak. Be blunt.  

Bottom line? Independence doesn’t mean turning them loose. It means teaching them how to make grown decisions before they’re actually grown. You’re the parent — you’re not their little friend. You can be loving and still say, “No, baby, not yet.”